


Of Frat Boys and First Loves

by PuppyPoison



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fraternity, M/M, Online Dating, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-09-21 19:48:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9563774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuppyPoison/pseuds/PuppyPoison
Summary: Noctis, Ignis, and Gladio are all starting their freshman year of college at Insomnia University. Since childhood they've been as close as brothers, and now the three are officially fraternity brothers of Alpha Chi Rho. While Gladio is focused on the gym and Ignis is focused on his studies, Noctis is focused on one thing and one thing only: finally getting a date.When the pickings in real life seem so slim, even on their huge campus, the only thing to do is make an online dating profile.All Noctis can hope for is to finally have some luck.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> General content warnings for the fic as a whole:
> 
> Will include themes of main characters dealing with homophobia/homophobic language  
> Mild violence in later chapters  
> Mild to moderate sexual content throughout, more explicit chapters will come later on and be labeled as such

September was settling in on Insomnia University's campus, with hot sun still pouring through every scant piece of cloud covering on the sky. The flat ground below was packed with students, freshmen still trying to find an "in" to satisfy all of their underage drinking dreams, sophomores trying to figure out their first homework assignment, juniors trying to plan their senior year, and seniors trying to drink themselves into a stupor before even considering their first homework assignment (or the rest of the year, for that matter). While Nikes, flip flops, and even a stray pair of Heelys pounded across the pavement outside, inside there were dozens upon hundreds of young adults trying to find their way around in their stuffy class buildings on the warm Thursday afternoon. Clubs were opening up their doors for meetings, dining halls were opening up their kitchens for dinners, but not everyone was outside in the heat or settling down to a hot plate of food. 

On the third floor of the Alpha Chi Rho fraternity house, two friends were sweating together in a stuffy, sweaty room with a window cracked open to let in some fresh air. The window was doing very little to ease their suffering. The bespectacled one was feverishly tugging his shirt out in front of his chest, trying to let some air hit and cool his sweaty skin. The smaller one seemed more than content to let the pools of sweat tucked in his armpits darken and expand. Hunched over his computer, he was paying no attention to his friend as he typed and clicked through a multitude of webpages. Ignis, pushing his glasses up on his nose, reached for his cup of iced coffee yet again, sipping loudly on his drink to try and gain attention from Noctis. When the slurping was proven to have made no impact, Ignis sighed, crossed and recrossed his legs, and opened up to speak instead. 

"Noct, I know that you're desperate, but…do you really think that this is the best idea?"

Noctis huffed, pushing his overgrown bangs out of his face for the hundredth time that day as he shook himself up from his Mac, looking very much like an irritated wet cat. "Ignis, if you have a better idea, then let me know, okay? I'm tired of going out just…waiting for someone to notice me. I mean…I didn’t get a chance in high school to do…that, now that I’m in college I should at least— .”

"Ideally, you should wait until both you and Ms. Nox-Fleuret have graduated. Even if you don’t have feelings for her, Noct, it’s best to not make any waves that could hurt your father’s company,” Ignis said, raising a concerned eyebrow at Noctis, and giving the suggestive poster hanging above Noctis’s bed. It wasn’t as bad as the other poster that was hanging above Gladio’s bed, but still. The room that Noctis, Ignis, and Gladio shared seemed to become more inappropriate every day. Noctis sighed at Ignis’s tired old advice, but unfortunately Ignis was the only one he could talk to. 

Gladio was wasting time as usual at the gym, "getting ripped" as he liked to call it, and Noctis never sought him out for advice anyway. Gladio was a good friend, but he was impossible for seeking relationship advice, or anything related to growing up aside from physical changes. Gladio had done a great job at explaining puberty when Noctis turned fifteen (ever the late bloomer), but he couldn't even fumble through helping Noctis find a boyfriend online the first time he had asked, back when Noctis was the textbook definition of "jailbait." No, Ignis was the best at this, Ignis with his cool demeanor and his lattes--lately, iced lattes--in hand--much better to smell than Gladio's protein shakes. Ignis was calm, and Ignis didn't swallow down raw eggs. Ignis also knew a thing or two about the dating scene. Annoying as he was with insisting that Noctis stick to the arranged marriage he’d been trapped in since birth, Ignis would throw Noctis a bone or two when it came to actually providing advice.

“Iggy, you’re just saying that cause you don't go out anyway! You—you don’t know what the dating scene is like, that’s why you can’t help me!” Noctis retorted, knowing the opposite was far more accurate. 

Within the few weeks that they had been on campus as freshmen, Ignis's popularity had--somehow, in some way--boomed. As a result, he was invited to everything, and graciously attended each party that all of the fawning girls (and boys) on campus loved to draw him out to. He would politely attend, stepping in to quietly take a drink or two and leave after some faint, polite conversation. He was elusive, never letting anyone know more about him than they did before he arrived. The only hints anyone had about Ignis were in connotation to his immaculate wardrobe, which had its own Facebook page dedicated to it. Even going past the Facebook devoted to his overall wardrobe, there was now a fan page for "Ignis's scarves," which every desperate boy on campus was doing their best to copy. None of them pulled it off quite as well as he did, though, and every girl on campus knew this, squinting their eyes a little bit and sighing wistfully with each wannabe they took to an upstairs bedroom after Ignis had left whatever party they found themselves at. On the Insomnia U Crushes Facebook page, so many posts were about Ignis that they ha needed to make a spin off page--one only for "Ignis Crushes." So far, the secondary page was booming more than the original.

No one remembered Noctis, though, and the only attention he ever got on the party scene was at Greek doorways, being scoffed at and turned away as he was informed that the invitation had been for "Ignis only--no guests." He was in a frat, too, he would grumble to himself. He should be allowed to freely hop around the Greek houses on campus. Isn’t that what he (well, technically his dad, but still) was paying for? Every time he would slink back off to where he had parked his car, plugging in his iPod and pulling up one of his many playlists to entertain him--again--until Ignis was ready to leave. He knew that he only Ignis took an hour or two, but at the same time, he was getting real tired of hearing the same indie whining night after night, however much the lyrics matched up with his own feelings. He knew it was pathetic, and he only felt worse when Ignis came bounding back in, face shining and scarf smelling of cigarettes, while Noctis’s clothes still smelled like his dorm room and his own sad sweat. He wanted to be in the college party scene--he really, truly did. But he knew that no matter how hard he tried to push himself inside, the Greek party crew on campus would never, ever take him in. 

So instead, Noctis had started to try and distance himself, going out on his own to clubs, to parties, to the only bar in town he was able to sneak into for the sake of someone maybe noticing him--just maybe. That single bar was a queer bar, sure, but it was four people away from being deserted and those four people on any given night were disinterested ex-drag queens slamming back cocktails and complaining about how all of the business was going to the new places on the "uptown"--north of the college campus, that is. That north district was where all the clubs Noctis desperately wanted to go to were located, and all of those clubs had slammed the door in his face as soon as he had taken a step in their direction. Recently, he tried to go and get a fake ID, but had been laughed out of the office. Noctis knew he still looked fifteen, but that wasn't the point. He was eighteen, he should be able to have a fake ID like every other eighteen year old on campus did. Noctis knew he didn't look as "twenty-one" as the other kids did, but it simply wasn't his fault. He had been trying everything he could with his unfortunate features, pulling his hair back, tying it into ponytails, but it only further emphasized his soft cheeks and his delicate features. He had decided to try growing his hair out even longer, but all he was doing right now was flipping it out of his face. It was just an impediment to his studying and everything else. Because of this, was going to go ahead and blame his hair for his inability to get a date. He figured that it was a fair enough claim. It took the blame off of himself, at least.

The whole thing was just the biggest disappointment in the world. He hoped that going off to college would’ve been his opportunity to be free from the shadow of his corporate king, super billionaire father. Having finally graduated the private high school he’d been trapped in his whole life, Noctis had gone running to the state university with high hopes and his best friends Gladio and Ignis on this side of him. The children of his father’s closest advisors, they may as well have been his siblings for as long as he'd known them. While to Gladio it was a sports scholarship and to Ignis it was the chance to get started on the pre-med path, to Noctis, university was the way out of the closet and the way away from the person he was expected to be. It went beyond simply not wanting to marry the daughter of his father’s oldest business partner. 

He wasn't planning on just being out from under his the thumb of his father and the business he was supposed to inherit. He was planning on being out of the closet. Entirely. He was ready to be done with jerking off to internet videos, done with scrolling through fashion blogs and online magazines to try and figure out how best to present himself on the male-male dating scene. To prepare himself, Noctis had ordered all of the tight pants, the best shirts and cardigans, and all the shoes that pinched his toes so, so bad. But as he walked onto dance floor after dance floor, trying to sidle up to hunk after hunk, it wasn't long before he found himself on the edge of things again, somehow pushed away from all the gyrating action on the floor and all of the "action," period. 

The worst part of it was that he was stuck between the hugely successful Ignis and Gladio. Gladio, who got the attention of girls and guys, Noctis thought, fuming. He had tried to tag along to the gym with Gladio, gasping and heaving as he tried to lift weights beside him. Gladio lifted four times as much as Noctis effortlessly, with other gym patrons flocking to him and fawning as Noctis dropped the weights to the mat beneath him, flopping down to defeatedly suck at his water bottle. Ignis, well, Ignis was just hot. For some ridiculous reason Noctis couldn’t comprehend. Although perhaps it was Ignis’s sharp style and graceful demeanor that stood in such contrast to sweatpants clad meatheads that populated most of the campus dating scene. But at this point, Noctis would’ve been happy dating the lowest common denominator. He just wanted to have a shot at someone.

Noctis couldn't figure what he was doing wrong.

And so, he was turning back to the internet.

"I just don't think it's very safe, Noctis. Thise are a lot of creeps out there, men who would…approach you poorly," Ignis said, sighing and taking a sip of his drink. Having been admitted on a full ride academic scholarship,” his ability to observe was sharp and as a result, his judgement was rarely poor. 

"It's not Grindr, at least," Noctis offered, his voice starting to weaken as he hesitated to type any more on his profile, looking over what he already had on his--he didn't want to even admit the name--OKCupid account. It was trashy, he knew it was trashy, but he at least wanted to start at the top of the trash heap before creeping any lower in the pile. It was better than Craigslist, at least. God, Noctis shuddered, anything was better than Craigslist. He wasn't going to deny that Grindr was his next plan of attack if this account failed him, though.

His username, NiteMan, didn't really let much on to his personality. It sounded vague and kind of dumb, but at the heart of things, it was the best that Noctis could've come up with. He liked staying up at night, so…it worked, right? He hoped that he could draw in someone one easily enough by focusing only on exterior traits. If he actually revealed who he was, he felt like a lot of people would be less interested. Plus, he had to stay at least a little subtle for his father’s sake, he thought as he rolled his eyes. His usual screen name wouldn't work at all on such a dating site, and he was hoping that Ignis wouldn't bring it up as a suggestion. Having changed his college e-mail to simply noctislcaelum@gmail.com, he was hoping to leave the days of twinkieknight1994 far, far behind him. But to be fair, Twinkie Knight probably wouldn't be a bad profile name to pick. It was an unfortunate throwback to his Dungeons and Dragons days, but it was also a chilling prediction his nine-year old self had made. Noctis may have loved snack cakes when he was younger, but now that he was trying to enter the gay scene, he didn't want his status as a "twink" to be announced any louder than it already was. Besides, he needed a trashier name to save for Grindr anyway. Not that he was going to actively pursue Grindr. Of course not.

He had listed a short scattering of interests--keeping it brief, really, as people tended to reject him based on being "too much of a nerd," or a "big loser," or many, many other things. There was a laundry list of reasons he already knew for why he was rejected, ignored, and he wasn't wanting to go into them at the moment. Aside from his appearance, even, diving into his actual personality, there were still far too many catches to count. For this reason, he didn't list his major in college and instead only let on that he was a freshman "undeclared." He left out his GPA, his stellar status, his scholarship, his father’s status and every other thing that the college admissions board had thought made him so special. Being too academic wasn’t a good thing for dating sites. Instead, he focused on his stature—5’6”, 120 pounds, and a "seven and a half inch package." The last one was a grotesque exaggeration, but Noctis didn't want any more truths sinking his ship. His profile picture was bad enough. They didn't need to know about Twinkie Knight's pocket-sized dagger, especially with all the other chivalrous gay men out there swinging their broadswords around. 

The profile picture Noctis had taken on his iPhone had still come out looking like trash, even through three Instagram filters and a bout of professional photo editing software. His cheeks looked stupidly chubby, his eyes were too close together, and he looked like even more of an awkward loser than he saw in the mirror every morning. Not to mention that painful pose he had put himself in. Still, it was the best he could do. He didn't have the ability Ignis, or even Gladio had, to be photographed at any moment and still look passable. Ignis always managed to resemble a model, and while Gladio had the unfortunate habit of making some of the worst faces whenever being captured for a sports yearbook spread, he at least passed due to being an athlete. Noctis, being in the chess club, wasn't given this get out of jail free card. Noctis had twelve years of yearbooks proving that even with advance notice and preparation, he was still very unlikely to look good. Especially in the years he had been suffering through braces. All seven of them.

Despite all this, though, Noctis at least hoped that someone would find him, someone from the university area would take at least a decent amount of pity on him, at least take him out on one date, give him one small kiss if nothing else. There was surely someone else desperate in the area, someone else who couldn't find a decent date due to whatever reasons. If it meant having to hold hands with a bear's paw, Noctis would still be able to deal with it. Bears and twinks were supposed to go together in the first place, it might even turn out lucky for him. The thing was, like every other dweeb in a teen movie, Noctis had never been kissed. Well, aside from Gladio and Ignis. But Gladio and Ignis provided the kinds of kisses you got from cousins, nothing stacked with passion, or even interest. Ignis had been "practice" for both Gladio and Noctis as children, and sat very still while Noctis pecked his thin, closed lips and Gladio smeared his tongue all over his face. Back then, Noctis had always wanted to kiss Gladio just a little bit more than Ignis, an inclination that had obvious reasons behind it now. Noctis was gay, very gay, and Gladio had always been a little more masculine than Ignis. It would explain Noctis’s increased interest, back in the day. At this point, though, Noctis had definitely lost all interest Gladio as well--however much Noctis had tried to convert "Gladio in wrestling shorts" into a masturbatory fantasy over the years. In the end, it wound up working that "Gladio in wrestling shorts" was the image Noctis sought out to deflate any inconvenient erections that skimmed his zipper, not encourage them. While Noctis knew he wasn’t very good at being gay (and oh, how he had tried), he knew that he would be even worse at being straight. Even though he was very, very bad at being gay.

Frowning at his computer screen, Noctis moved through the profile setup and vaguely filled out his interests, as well as his personal standards, in a partner. Did he care if a woman kept her legs shaved? Would abortion be an option in case of an accidental pregnancy? How were these questions even relevant? Confused, Noctis realized that he had accidentally checked "interested in women" instead of "interested in men." There he was, being bad at being gay and straight--yet again. Blushing horribly, he changed that detail, returning to answer new questions such as "what is the first thing people normally notice about you?" as well as "what is the most private thing you are willing to admit about yourself?" Not so sure of how to answer these, Noctis put down "my hair" for the first one and took off on a paragraph about a urinary tract infection that resulted in him pissing his pants bloodily and daily in the sixth grade--causing everyone to believe he was actually a girl starting a period. It was only after Noctis had plowed through all of the other questions, hitting "submit" that he realized that may have been a little too private of a thing to admit. It was too late to go back now, though, and Noctis didn't want to second-guess and rewrite one question. If he did, he would wind up starting the entire profile over again. For now, he was done. Completely finished, his body and his "personality" were now displayed on the internet to be picked over and scrutinized. Hopefully, his surveyors wouldn't be too ruthless.

He looked up as triumphantly as he could manage, seeing Ignis still in front of him, idly scrolling through his iPhone. "Well?" he said, seeking reassurance.

"Did you give an accurate description of yourself?" he asked, not looking up from what Noctis could see to be Ignis’s Facebook feed. He was slightly frustrated that he wasn't paying more attention to him, given how great of a struggle he had just underwent to get this entire mess assembled in the first place. 

"I--well, yeah! Of course I did!" Noctis spluttered.

Noctis hadn't. He hadn't even come close to being honest about who he really was as a person. But really, he figured that had been his best bet in getting any of this to work at all. He had left out half of his major, most of the qualifications he would put on a resume, made up false interests and cited an interest in hip hop music and the party scene, mentioning how much he was into the university's football team. He hated hip hop and he never got into parties. Noctis had been the type to get rejected from birthday parties when he was still hustling the middle school scene. Only his father’s influence got him through school without being a total loser. He didn’t go to parties even after his father finally pressured the other parents to make their kids invite him. It was too embarrassing. He had never gone to a single football game, college or high school. He hadn't even watched one on television in years. The only really truthful thing Noctis had included in his profile about his interests was how much he enjoyed Game of Thrones, but that didn't mean much at all. Everyone liked Game of Thrones. He may as well had written down how much he enjoyed peanut butter sandwiches, for how exciting he was. He could feel himself leaning back farther in his chair, his heart sinking to the carpet along with his ass.

"You didn't, did you?" Ignis asked, raising his eyebrows and looking up from his phone to Noctis. "You have that self-depreciating face on again, you know."

Noctis sighed, covering his face with his hands. He wished Ignis wasn't so insufferably skilled when it came to reading his expressions and everything else about him. "I just don't know how to do this, Iggy, I don't know how to do…any of this. I'm not like you, I'm not hot, or cool, or or, or mysterious, or anything and--"

"Noct, shh. Calm down," Ignis said gently, placing his hands on either side of Noctis's face. Noctis sniffed as his thumb rubbed his cheek, his palms pressing into his skin and chilling the burn in his cheeks. That was Ignis, always the one to comfort. What his stoic exterior didn't let onto, what no one on campus knew about Ignis, was just how good of a friend and how soft of a shoulder to cry on he was. Noctis had never longed for a big brother, not when Ignis had been there since preschool to pat his head and place kisses on any scrapes he got on his elbows. "Why don't you just come out with me tomorrow? It's late tonight, and it's Thursday, but I got invited to a party again that just so happens to be tomorrow night. I'll text the organizer who is putting it on and let him know that I'm bringing a friend, and that I won't come without you," Ignis said firmly, brushing the black strands of hair that were obscuring Noctis’s face.

"A-and what if they--"

"If they say you can't come with me, then we'll go down to the diner together and get some dessert, alright? We can get some movies, too, and have a night in—just you, me, and Gladio.” Ignis took his hands off of him after concluding his sentence, pushing his glasses up on his nose once more and flicking his eyes down to check his phone again. His thumbs moved swiftly across the screen as he opened up his notifications, replying to another inevitable message in the stream that never seemed to stop coming to him.

Noctis blinked, slumping over more and tucking his knees up to his chest now that Ignis had removed his hands. He didn't even both reaching for his phone. He knew that no one would have contacted him yet, so there was no point.

Noctis sighed again. "Ignis, I wish I could be like you. I mean, everyone has a crush on you."

"Give it time, Noct. Something will come," Ignis said, giving him one last pat on the head before he was up packing his bag, sending a few more reassuring words towards Noctis before he was out the door, finished with him for the night as he went to his usual late-night study session. Noctis sighed, glancing at his bed before shutting his laptop in resignation. There was no point in him staying up any longer.


	2. Chapter 2

Noctis was out of bed in a flash the next morning, grabbing for his computer and wrenching it open, scouring the screen for a sign of messages on his newly created dating profile. Gladio was still snoring in the bunk across from him, and Ignis slept peacefully in his own corner of their room, although he would ocassionally mutter in his sleep. Noctis contributed to the early morning noises with feverish typing, pounding away at the keys of his Mac so hard that Gladio loudly snorted in his sleep in response, rolling over and burying his head deeper into the covers. Noctis had three messages in his profile, and his heart was thumping out of his chest as clicked on the small icon in the corner of his screen, biting down hard on his lip as his eyes widened before the screen.

One of the messages was a complete bust. 

"Welcome to OKCupid!," it read. "We hope you have an enjoyable experience on our website. Remember, in the terms and conditions…"

Noctis frustratedly clicked out of that email. It was not worth his time, nor his efforts. He knew he was welcome on the dating website. He knew about the terms and conditions. He knew that his membership on the website was welcome, of course it was--it was no different than the Myspace boom and fade, the current Twitter phase--social media websites demanded more membership. They demanded an increase, a swell, as many members as they could possibly have. That was what they wanted, that was what they were after. Sucking in incompetent idiots like himself was the easiest way to raise their numbers, he knew that already. Bouncing around in naiveté and delusions of someday finding a significant other, it was the addiction to hope that sucked members in, kept them wanting more for every day that they got less and less, after reminder emails and offers for account upgrades stopped spamming their inboxes and they found themselves left with absolutely nothing--without a chance, without anything carrying them through the hurricane of online dating except their own poorly crafted social skills and clumsy graces. 

Those poor skills were reflected in the next four messages Noctis had got. They were all from older men, the type of men Noctis would side eye in line at a restaurant, tastefully avoiding them and their wrinkled, scaly skin for fear it would flake off on him. They were not the sort of men Noctis planned on donating any of his time to, much less his virginity. 

Virginity, Noctis thought, sighing to himself and slumping down in his pajamas. Gladio, snoring behind him, didn't have this problem. Gladio had gone to summer camp with Ignis every year, and he had met a girl there and conveniently lost his right before their senior year began. Noctis hadn't asked Ignis about his status, but obviously he was confident and well-versed in the world's workings--there was no way he couldn't have had a similar summer camp experience. Noctis hadn’t been allowed to go, due to his father thinking it was too dangerous. Instead, he took to the library every day, lugging pounds of books home on his back. He passed the time reading, pretending he was anywhere else. When he discovered there were books about romances between two men, he spent a lot of time in particular wishing he was in those worlds as he furiously masturbated beneath his covers. The housekeeper gave Noctis a lot of dirty looks that summer.

It was always his dad, Noctis grumbled. His dad that decided what college he would go to, what major he would study (business, what else). His dad picked out the fraternity he would be in and even from day one picked out the friends Noctis would have by setting him up with Ignis and Gladio. Although for that, Noctis supposed he was grateful, as no one else had come after him wanting to be his friend. Noctis was so awkward that even his wealth hadn’t attracted any friends. Of course, his wealth barely mattered at the private school he had attended, where everyone had been loaded in the first place. Noctis just wanted a chance at some freedom. He was carrying so many expectations on his back—inheriting his father’s company, getting no less than a 4.0, becoming a notable member of his fraternity and the clubs that would “best enhance his resume,” it was just too much. He just wanted to have something of his own, some decision he could have himself. He was tired of all the burdens he had to tolerate.

He just wanted a chance to be himself, and more than anything a chance for someone to love that self.

——

"Noctis, you have enough," Ignis stressed to him gently in the dining hall as Noctis was once again babbling into his mozzarella sticks. 

“I know! I know I have enough, that’s the problem!” he exclaimed, nearly upending his plate and a ladle full of marinara sauce onto his outfit. The nearness of the spill shook him, and Noctis collapsed back into his chair, staring at his shaking hands and shaking his head along with them. "It…it’s too much…” He couldn’t detach himself from the thoughts that had been plaguing him since morning.

Ignis and Gladio shared a glance, Gladio's as sympathetic and pointed as it could be with his face stuffed full of chicken tenders and pizza. The ranch dribbling down his chin added to the effect. Somehow. Since the semester had started, Noctis had broken his back until late every night with obsessions about his identity, about his future, about everything he had to deal with now that he was growing up. Gladio and Ignis pitied him, but all they could do was try and figure out what exactly Noctis needed and try to support him from there. At the same time, Noctis was so obsessed with so many things that it was somehow difficult to pinpoint exactly what it was Noctis wanted at any given time. They supported him as best they could though, as best as they always had throughout the years. Most of the time, all Noctis really needed was someone to yap at. 

“So Iggy tells me you’re goin’ to a party with him this week? Bet you’re gonna score. Have fun, little guy,” Gladio said thickly, giving Noctis a big thumbs up. This was what Gladio always did. Noctis did something awkward, and Gladio would change the subject as quickly as he could. He usually threw a compliment in for Noctis too, even if it wasn’t always expressed eloquently.

Noctis rolled his eyes as Gladio turned away from him and started sputtering through his half-chewed food to Ignis about some new lifting technique he had picked up from the new trainer at the campus rec center. Maybe that was what he needed to do, maybe the gym was where he belonged. He had failed at lifting with Gladio before, but, maybe he could give it another shot. Since high school, Gladio had bulged more and more out of his shirts each year while Noctis remained as lean and stringy as ever. He was the green bean to Gladio's corn cob. As horrifying as it seemed, Noctis did resign himself to the fact that he should probably try the gym again, despite his embarrassment lingering from the last visit. This time, Noctis figured, if all else failed he could try out a treadmill so he could at least pretend he was running away from all of his problems. That would surely motivate him. He certainly had a marathon of issues to run from.

All Gladio talked about lately was the gym, though. It frustrated Noctis from time to time, both with the sweaty socks that were constantly on their shared dorm floor and the more insufferable details, such as Gladio never talking about anything but "beefing up" and "putting on mass." Lately, the theme of conversation had shifted to this personal trainer Gladio was hanging around, and if Noctis had to hear one more story punctuated with the crumbs spewing from Gladio's overeager mouth, he was going to lose it. In fact, he wondered if he already had lost it. Huffing, he snatched a mozzarella stick from Gladio's heaping plate and dunked it into his own remnants of marina sauce. He was sure it wouldn't be missed. 

"So he--(much)--he's got these really, really thick pectorals, and y'know he's this really tiny--(gulp)--dude, but--" Gladio broke off here, reaching for one of his three glasses of chocolate milk to chug one down before reaching for pizza to fill the void in his mouth. "But he's like, really heavy because he's got so much mass, he's just this dense tank of power. He can deadlift almost three hundred pounds, and he looks like he only weighs like a hundred pounds, but he's a hundred and fifty. And he can lift double his weight, like double Iggy, can you believe that?"

Noctis rolled his eyes.

"Guys, I'm headed out," he muttered, scooping up his textbooks and fliers clumsily into his arms, balancing his used dishes on top of them. Ignis told him goodbye, Gladio waved in a vague farewell, and Noctis was off to his next class, a lecture hall where hardly anything was going on at all. It would be an opportunity for other work to be done, working on his image--much more important than a history 101 class.

Noctis quietly snuck into the back of the large room. He was one of the first people there, so he had prime choice in seating as well as gaining access to a power outlet for his laptop. Lucky for him, seeing as he was going to be on it for the duration of the class. He went straight to his newly created dating profile and prepared himself to respond to masses of emails, hoping to find a suitable match for him--maybe even a one hundred percent. Maybe, he thought as he waited for pages to load and watched people trickling into the room, the tall boy in the flannel shirt sitting three rows down from him was a match. Or the blonde sitting five rows down to his left. The possibilities were endless, he thought as he scrolled through his new messages, blinking at the poorly crafted usernames and equally poor content of the messages. 

The possibilities were endless, he told himself again as he deleted message after message from man after man aged 40+. Apparently, there was a shortage of twinky college boys in the city, as well as a shortage of people compatible with Noctis in the first place. Looking at his potential "matches," the ones matching him in the 70th percentile were all at least a two hour drive away, and in the immediate area, his top match was only 49%. Thise were plenty of people popping up as a "friend" match, but Noctis wasn't looking for friends. He had Gladio and Ignis, and they were more than enough for him. He needed a boyfriend, he needed experiences, he needed to be fulfilled and fleshed out. Especially in the realm of his flesh, he thought, shivering.

By the time he had gotten through all of his matches, the lecture had ended. Noctis was startled by everyone suddenly getting up around him and exiting, and he blushed, slamming his laptop shut. There hadn’t been any decent dudes, but he snooped through the profiles of everyone he could find anyway, just in case. He had changed the search to “men who like women” midway through, slumping in his seat as he nervously clicked through profiles of hot, really hot boys who were actually on his campus. He got up, trying to sift through all the faces he’d just searched through, and began his lonely trek back to his fraternity house. The gym was completely out of the question at this point.

His father had assured him that Alpha Chi Rho would be the perfect fit for him. That it was a family tradition. Noctis felt like he may as well not be part of the family at all. He had none of the confidence his father did, and doubted he would have any of the success his grandfather experienced that allowed him to start the company in the first place. Noctis was, simply, a loser. And all of his frat “brothers” felt the same way. He walked through the doors in shame every night, trying to avoid the sneers he always got. Everyone knew he paid his way in. He heard them laughing “daddy’s little emo” as he walked by sometimes, but only when he was alone. Gladio and Ignis fit in great, of course. If it weren’t for them, Noctis was pretty sure no amount of money could’ve saved his place in this fraternity.

“My only real brothers,” Noctis mumbled as he flopped onto his bed, sighing and pulling out his phone. 

He had gotten the OkCupid mobile app, too. He knew it was pathetic, but he couldn’t help himself. One of the straight boys he saw had particularly caught his eye, and Noctis couldn’t help but go back to his profile again and again—just to get another look. Their compatibility rating was a profound “100% Enemies,” meaning they had absolutely nothing in common, absolutely no shared interests or beliefs.,but Noctis couldn’t help himself. His username was “Chocoboi69” and Noctis knew the dirty implication of “69.” The thought of all eight inches of Chocoboi (as advertised on his profile) in his mouth while his dick got sucked off as well…Noctis was getting too excited from it. It was a blessing that Gladio and Ignis were out as Noctis reached a hand down his pants, fumbling for his dick and starting to hastily jerk off. He felt guilty using a stranger’s pics to jerk off to, but that smile made him feel a certain way. The full body pic Chocoboi69 had posted showed off a taut, lean body…in a shirtless photo, of course. It was from some pool party or another, and seeing this guy wet glistening…

Noctis came with an awkward moan, too loud to hold back as he kicked his feet on his bed, trying to cover his mouth with his hand to stay quiet. It didn’t work, judging by the “shut up!” he heard from next door, accompanied by an irritated banging against the wall. He flopped his head back on his pillow. 

Why was he such a loser?

——

Later, Noctis had almost fallen asleep for the night. He had chugged through all his homework, printed off all his assignments, jerked off a second time (quietly, since Ignis and Gladio had returned to the room), and was just about ready to switch from consciousness to dreams. Right when he was beginning to slip away, though, he remembered something.

OkCupid shows a user when you’ve visited their profile.

Noctis snapped up in bed, screaming. The anger of his neighbors and his roommates didn’t even flicker through his mind.

He was fucked. He was so, so fucked, he thought as he groaned, falling back onto his bed with a thud. Ignis clucked and scolded him in irritation, and Noctis just rolled over, huffing defeatedly and hiding his head under his pillow. 

Things couldn’t get any worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2, delivered to you as promised!
> 
> I have had...one hell of a day/week at work so I'm glad I remembered to post this @___@ 
> 
> Please enjoy, comment if you like, and look forward to next week's update!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Carbuncle" is the Insomnia equivalent of Android cellphones in this universe. Apple is still Apple though, of course. The iPhone permeates space and time...

Noctis spent the following day constantly looking over his shoulder, at least in between constantly checking his phone. He nervously sat through his classes, sweat breaking out on him in the ones where he wasn’t allowed to have his laptop or phone out. He knew Chocoboi69 attended the same university as him, and he felt certain that he would be able to pick him out in a crowd. That tufty blonde hairstyle was pretty distinct, after all. What Noctis was more worried about was Chocoboi69 recognizing him. His profile picture wasn’t exactly subtle, it was clearly him. He should’ve just uploaded a chest, or an abs pic, he thought miserably. Maybe if he actually had abs in the first place. 

His stress only increased once he arrived at the dining hall for lunch. There were more people here and a greater chance of an encounter. Ignis snapped his fingers in front of Noctis repeatedly.

“Noct, Noct? Perhaps think about coming back to the living, hm?”

Noctis shook his head, blinking at Ignis. He realized he had been holding the same french fry in front of his mouth for the past five minutes. 

“Come on, Noct,” Ignis sighed. “If you behave that way at the party tonight, people are just going to walk right into you. You’ll wind up falling into a keg.”

“A k-keg?” Noctis asked nervously, finally taking a nibble of his french fry. Alcohol was something he had experienced before, but only supervised wine tastings under his father’s watchful eyes. The alcohol in their mansion was kept under tight lock and key, and not even Ignis had been able to break in back when they were in high school.

“Of course,” Ignis said as he took a bite of asparagus. “It wouldn’t be a frat party without it.”

Noctis sighed.

“Don’t look so sad, Noct. At least you and Iggy get to drink. Me, I’m cutting right now. No alcohol is goin’ in this body for a long time,” Gladio said solemnly. Today, he was eating nothing but chicken breasts. There were four of them on his plate, but still. 

“I’ll bring you back some protein powder, I guess.” Noctis sighed. 

Ignis wasn’t necessarily a bad person to hang out with. Noctis just felt awkward when everyone started to swarm him. With both of his friends, he was always an accessory to their charms, but at least when Gladio was around he could be a nobody sandwiched in between them as opposed to a nobody shoved off to one side or the other. 

“I’m wondering what my fan club will think of tonight’s scarf,” Ignis said with a smirk. “It is new, after all. Surely, that will elicit at least ten blog posts to be uploaded once all is said and done?”

“Can you at least try and appreciate how much everyone likes you, Ignis? Yknow, some of us would kill to be in your shoes for a day.”

Ignis and Gladio shared a painful glance, realizing they had said the wrong thing yet again. It was easy for them to forget how much more sensitive Noctis was lately.

“Well, Noct, how about I give this new one to you? In fact, I’ll plan an entire outfit for you. That will certainly give you a leg up, yes?”

Noctis smiled weakly. He was sure Ignis could make him look at least a little better than usual, but there was only so much he could pull off on his short, scrawny body.

“Keep tellin’ you, Noct, you gotta work out. Even if it’s just pickin’ up the little baby weights, it’s better than nothin’.”

“But…I…have class….”

“That’s the thing. You gotta combine Iggy’s class, and my mass. Then you’ll be set. Everyone’ll want you after that.” Gladio said confidently, shaking a forkful of chicken at Noctis.

“Class and mass,” Noctis muttered. 

Ignis checked his watch, then quickly grabbed his messenger bag, tossing it over a shoulder. Every action Ignis performed made him look like a model striking a pose. It wasn’t fair. 

“Well, it’s time for me to be off. Noct, you ought to be going as well. And please, try and look forward to this evening. I assure you, things will be fine.”

Noctis gave Ignis a weak smile before picking up his own backpack. He hoped his friend was right.

——

The outfit Ignis assembled for Noctis was almost painfully uncomfortable. The shirt dug into his armpits, the pants were too long for him, and the scarf looked like it was swallowing him rather than accentuating any of his features. He toddled along Ignis, trying not to trip as they disembarked the car and started on their way to the house the party was being held at. It was at yet another fraternity house, Sigma Nu according to the Greek letters Noctis squinted at on the side of the building. He took a deep breath as the man at the door waved them both inside. He didn’t seem to notice Noctis or Ignis as he chugged some mysterious drink from his red cup. Alcohol, Noctis realized as his skin prickled. He was already sweating profusely in the too-tight shirt. 

Clinging to Ignis like a lost child to their mother, Noctis walked through the crowd to the punch bowl. Ignis filled a cup to the brim with swirling sunset colored liquid and took a sip before raising his eyebrows, licking his lips with an expression of surprise on his face.

“Goodness, that’s strong,” he said, taking another cup and filling it just a quarter of the way full before handing it to Noctis. “Be careful with that one.”

Noctis took a sip that was definitely too big for him to handle and had to cover his mouth with his hand to avoid spitting it out all over the place, his eyes watering as the drink raced down his throat, burning and sour. He looked at Ignis after he recovered, blinking in disbelief at how his friend could drink this nightmare so calmly. 

“That’s nothing compared to the house beverage from Kappa Beta.” Ignis winked as a flock of gaggling girls rushed up to him. 

“Iiiiiiiignis!!” a girl exclaimed, placing a drunken hand on his shoulder as she swayed into him. “How aaaaare you?”

Noctis rolled his eyes. It had begun. 

“Oh my god, you look so good tonight! How come you’re wearing the same thing from last week though?” she asked with a pout.

“Well,” Ignis began, putting a hand on Noctis’s shoulder, “I’m lending my new scarf to my friend. Ladies, meet Noctis.”

The girls looked Noctis up and down, skeptical as their smiles faded away. They were quiet until their leader took a deep sip of her drink and put her smile back on for Ignis. “That’s so cool! You should start like, a Hot Guy for the Not Guy on Youtube or something!!!”

Noctis cringed, wanting to crawl under the sticky floorboards and disappear. This was going, if possible, even worse than he had planned. Maybe if he pulled out his wallet he could get one of the girls to notice him. Did they know, he wondered, that his very own father was responsible for the Carbuncle brand cellphone one of them had clutched in her hands? It wasn’t Apple, sure, but still, it was kind of a big deal. Kind of. But buying his friends hadn’t worked in high school, and it sure as hell wasn’t going to work now. 

He watched Ignis smile, make perfectly polite conversation and chuckle at each compliment he received. There wasn’t even a chance for Noctis to jump into the conversation. He leaned into his friend, muttering about going to take a break, and he wandered over to a wall, slumping against it as he pulled out his phone. Looking over his shoulders nervously and bringing his phone closer to his face, he brought up his OkCupid app and nervously refreshed his profile. Inbox, empty. New profile views, none. None? Noctis shoved his phone back into his pocket and frustratedly banged the back of his head against the wall. It dented the hairstyle Ignis had immaculately crafted for him, but it didn’t even matter. He didn’t have a chance here, he never did and he never would.

As Noctis was relishing in his self-pity, party goers laughed and danced past him. Noctis wished he could have a fraction of their joy, their carelessness. He closed his eyes, trying to imagine a world where he was one of the in crowd, where he wasn’t a pitiful loser, but was quickly pulled from his fantasy with a cold wake-up call. Gasping, Noctis looked down to see a massive, colorful stain blossoming across the clothes Ignis had lent him. He looked up angrily, seeing a boy slurping from his cup in front of him, a giggling girl draped on his side. 

“Whoops,” the boy snorted, “sorry dude.”

The girl let out a howl of laughter and they both trotted on their way, Noctis standing there in disbelief as his clothes dripped onto the floor. His blood boiling and shame scorching across his cheeks, he stormed up the stairs in search of a bathroom. It was difficult enough navigating his way through the crowd and up the stairs in the first place, what with all the people clogging the path. The stairs were covered with couples sprawled across each other, shamelessly sucking face, but at least they were too distracted to notice Noctis crawling over them. 

Huffing, Noctis reached the bathroom door and rapped on it. No response. He tried the door handle, but it was locked. Frustrated, he knocked again, louder. He kept knocking, his anger rising with each rap of his knuckles until a girl wrenched open the door, giving him the dirtiest look he had ever received in his life.

“Look asshole, can you fuck off? Becky’s in here puking her guts out and you’re not helping!”

The door slammed in his face again and Noctis’s shoulders slumped in defeat. He sighed, rubbing his forehead and wishing he had never come. At least the upstairs was quieter, he thought. Looking at the multitude of closed bedroom doors, he wondered if he could perhaps find a place to hide in one of them until Ignis texted him that their time here was finally up. Noctis felt his spirits lift a bit as he thought of having his own locked door separating himself from the crowd. In the narrow hallway he tried a first, a second, and a third door. All were locked. With one left, Noctis nervously tried the handle and exhaled a sigh of relief when it turned. His sigh of relief quickly turned to a gasp of horror once he took a step inside, though. 

The room was lit only with the light streaming in from the hallway, and Noctis’s figure cast a shadow into the room. It fell upon a blonde girl, squealing and moaning, naked with her thighs pushed up by a strong pair of hands, squeezing into her soft skin. Her giggling didn’t subside when another person appeared from between her legs, a disheveled head peeking up before stretching up all the way. Her lover yawned, blinking lustily at the door and lewdly wiping his mouth off with the back of his hand, grinning as he licked his lips. Noctis’s stomach dropped in horror.

“S-sorry!” he panicked. He wanted to run, but he couldn’t move. He was frozen in place by shock and shame.

“No worries,” the boy across from him said, placing a hand back on the girl’s stomach and gently rubbing, making her squeal again in delight. “Wanna join in?”

The girl’s giggling picked up even more. “Yaaaaaah, come join us!”

Noctis couldn’t even respond. He stood there staring like an idiot until he finally found his feet and ran, slamming the door behind them. He heard them laughing more, muffled as Noctis pressed himself against the door, trying to catch his breath.

Holy shit.

What had he just walked in on?

Noctis wasn’t very informed on heterosexual intercourse, but that mouth. That boy. If only he could’ve seen more of him. Those hands, that immaculate shirtless torso, that smile, god. Noctis felt like he had died and come back. No one had ever looked at him like that before. Absolutely no one. He suddenly glanced down at his lower half, horrified to see his dick standing to attention. He quickly slumped to the floor against the wall, tucking his knees up to his chest to hide his excitement. That had been incredible. Sure, there was a girl, Noctis could’ve done without that. But even though he knew he needed to think of something, anything else for the sake of getting his dick down so he could walk again, all he could think of was that boy he’d just seen. Noctis buried his face deep between his knees as he thought of having his legs pushed up like that, of the stranger looking down at him, licking his lips, making him moan like that…

(bzzt) (bzzt)

Noctis swallowed hard, shaking himself out of his fantasy as he dug his phone out of his pocket.

Shall we be off? read a message from Ignis.

Noctis exhaled long and slow before getting to his feet, trying to slump down as much as possible. It didn’t even matter if someone saw him. For one, everyone was drunk. For two, he was a nobody anyway. And three, even if he did get caught, it’s not like he could be any more of a weird loser than he already was.

The fourth thought he had, as guilty as it was, was for that guy he’d just walked in on to grab him by the waist as he tried to head out the door. To grab him and take him back to the bedroom—just the two of them.

But instead, Noctis fell not into a boy’s bed, but into a car seat besides Ignis, as always.

“Have a good time?” Ignis asked politely.

“Mmmhm.” Noctis grumbled as he started up the car, doing everything he could not to stay in park for an hour so he could bash his head against the steering wheel.

 

——

He was too tired to masturbate when he got home, but the next morning he woke up particularly hard from a particularly suggestive dream. As he jerked off, hand slapping in the space between his skin and the wall, he was caught between thoughts of the boy he’d seen last night and that OkCupid profile he couldn’t stop refreshing. After he came, a thought crept into his head, chilling his blood.

Didn’t…the two of them look pretty similar?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah--Regis Lucis Caelum is essentially Steve Jobs! Except...instead of Steve Jobs, he's whoever the guy that runs Android is. I wanted to stick Noctis in the "rich corporate heir" box but I felt like making him heir to a cell phone software industry would be more fun and let me write in more specific lines/references to it.
> 
> Imagine a cell phone company that had Carbuncle as their mascot on everything though....I would die, that would be so cute
> 
> Also I fucking love meathead Gladio and he's 110% inspired by Fat Mac from Always Sunny  
> https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/1e/c8/b9/1ec8b94c912419bd02fa65ae42eacbd3.jpg
> 
> He's not fat! He's cultivating mass!
> 
> Cursed universe where Mac=Gladio and Dennis=Ignis except there is no way on this PLANET that Ignis could ever be that shitty


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THINGS FINALLY START HAPPENING...!!

Noctis slunk around campus trying to be as inconspicuous as possible for the next week. His shoulders were hunched, his hair flopped in his face, and he wore almost exclusively sweatpants and baggy shirts. His clothes were deliberately the opposite of what he wore at that party, as he wanted to be as unrecognizable as possible. Perhaps it had been embarrassing before when no one had let him through the doors of a party in the first place, but what had happened last week was so, so much worse. Ignis and Gladio both had spent significantly more time in their frat room with Noctis, trying to provide emotional support for whenever Noctis finally decided to open up and talk to them about what had happened. Ignis studied on his bed instead of the library, and Gladio grunted as he lifted barbells across from Ignis. Noctis just laid face down after finishing his homework, headphones buried in his ears as he mourned his existence.

 

He hadn’t checked his dating profile, seeing as that was probably a lost cause. Just another way for him to get embarrassed. Ignis had been prodding him about it lately, suggesting that he just give it a look. That checking couldn’t hurt. One night, as the three of them crowded around the television they all shared in their room, Ignis gave a particularly loud huff and paused the Blu-Ray they were watching.

 

“Noct, enough. I absolutely cannot have you sitting around like this any longer.”

 

Noctis refused to make eye contact, gazing emptily at the frozen screen.

 

“Noct! Are you listening to me?” Ignis pressed, exasperated.

 

Suddenly, Noctis was pushed backward, falling to the ground in the cradle of his folding chair. Gladio’s angry face appeared over him, casting a shadow as he scowled.

 

“Look Noct, being sad isn’t gonna fix anything! You keep wishing you were more like me and Iggy? The difference is, when me and Iggy see something we want, we go for it! You can’t just sit around and expect something to fall in your lap, you need to get up and _move_!”

 

Noctis winced, staring pointedly at the dresser on the other side of the room to avoid meeting Gladio’s gaze. It was always Gladio who insisted on adding insult to Noctis’s injuries.

 

“Really, Noct, we’re just trying to look out for you. Certainly, your grades are fine at the moment, but…we both know college isn’t only about that,” Ignis said with a concerned gaze.

 

“We’re not gonna have you go through another four years of high school.” Gladio’s arms were crossed solidly over his chest, his legs spread wide and defiant. “No more of that shit.”

 

“Really. Now come on, if you want to get a date, why not…try attending a club? Not a dance one, but perhaps one on campus.”

 

Noctis groaned.

 

“We do have a student LGBTQ group, I believe.”

 

Noctis groaned even louder. “I already tried that. There’s like six people in it, and the only two guys are already together and the rest of them are girls.”

 

“Could always try for a threesome,” Gladio said with a devilish smirk.

 

“Gladio! Really!” Ignis said, giving him a stern slap. “We won’t be subjecting Noctis to anything beyond his means! Besides, I doubt he cares to be…an accessory to someone else’s relationship.”

 

Noctis didn’t respond. He hadn’t really considered it, but…

 

“Noct doesn’t deserve to be at someone else’s whims for his first time. Really, Gladio, he deserves more than to just be…a plaything. Now, Noct,” Ignis said, pulling Noctis to his feet. “Give your profile another chance. Just one.”

 

Noctis gave Ignis a look. “No.”

 

Ignis huffed, easily snatching up Noctis’s phone from the table where he had left it. “Well, I’ll force you to give it a look then. Here, Noct. Now how about this?”

 

Noctis begrudgingly took his phone from Ignis, only to see that his profile had completely changed. He looked up at Ignis, shocked.

 

“I may have done some…editing, just to touch a few things up.” Ignis said with a small, smug smile.

 

Noctis’s profile had almost completely changed. His profile picture was no longer his awkward selfie, but now was a surprisingly flattering photo of Noctis from the last vacation he had taken with Ignis and Gladio. He was squinting a little in the photo, making a peace sign as a large ice cream cone dripped in his other hand. The sun was starting to set behind him, and the Noctis in the photo, captured by the warm sunlight, almost looked…cute? Noctis wondered what editing software Ignis had used on this photo, there was no way for him to look that good naturally. His username had been changed to “KingsNite,” a nod to Noctis’s favorite video game, and some specifications had been changed as well. It now said Noctis was looking for “men who like men, age 18-22.” Noctis hadn’t even known that was an option, but realization dawned on him after realizing he could’ve avoided seeing creepy old dudes this whole time.

 

In his profile, the “about me” had been changed from “lookin to smooch a cutie ;-)” to “Freshman at Insomnia U! Hoping to make some new friends and hopefully find a bf too! I like video games, watching movies, and hanging out with my two awesome best friends. :)” Noctis gave Ignis a look at that one. Ignis just chuckled a bit, continuing to read over Noctis’s shoulder as he scrolled through his new profile.

 

Now, under “what I’m doing with my life,” it no longer said “uhhh undecided lol, decide for me hehe,” but reflected that Noctis was actually a computer science major hoping to go into creating phone apps. Noctis looked at Ignis for a moment, concerned.

 

“Don’t worry, Noct, I did not reveal that your father is the head of the second largest cell phone business in the country.”

 

Noctis breathed out again, looking at the “I’m really good at section.” Ignis had written “video games, of course!” where Noctis had previously left it blank. Ignis also added “and studying, even if that’s kind of dorky :P”The next section, for Noctis’s favorite things, had King’s Knight first and foremost, followed by several of Noctis’s other video games. “Game of Thrones” retained its place on the list, as well as listing some of Noctis’s favorite anime and other Netflix go-tos for binging. All his favorite bands were there, his favorite movies (one of which was playing on the TV right now), and the short but specific list of his favorite foods. Ignis had expanded a lot beyond “Doritos lol.”

 

Noctis sighed as he looked at the next question, the six things he could never do without. He was worried Ignis would’ve put “Gladio” as #1 followed by his own name as #2, but Ignis came through once again. His #1 was “Umbra my doggie!! I miss him T__T.” That one was completely true, Noctis thought, feeling a pang of longing for the beloved dog he had left with his father. Maybe he would drive home this weekend to visit, he thought. His #2 was his laptop, his #3 his phone, his #4 his PS4, his #5 his friends, and his #6 was “hopefully you, someday.” Noctis whistled. Ignis was smooth. Incredibly smooth.

 

The rest of his profile indicated that Noctis spent a lot of time thinking about “homework T__T,” that he spent Friday nights “gaming,” and that you should message him if…

 

“If you’d like a devoted partner who can make you laugh and smile. Bonus points if we could nerd out together,” Noctis read aloud.

 

“Now, isn’t that better than what you had before? And if you look, Noct,” Ignis said, pointing at the screen. “You’ve received quite a few more views, and a handful of messages as well.”

 

Noctis’s heart skipped as he opened up his inbox, Ignis disappearing behind him and switching the movie back on to give Noctis some privacy.

 

Scrolling through the messages first, Noctis felt his heart physically stop beating in his chest. Chocoboi69. Chocoboi69, sitting in his inbox, with a message preview only showing “ ;) ”.

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _Interested in men, huh? Guess that’s why u didn’t wanna join the other night ;)_

 

Noctis didn’t even know how to respond.

 

**KingsNite:** _Uh…you sure you have the right person…? lol_

 

There was no way…Noctis had reflected on the possibility day in and day out, sure, but for this to actually be unfolding before him? There was no way. The guy he walked in on had to have been drunk, with an attitude like that. No one could be that confident sober, it just didn’t happen. Noctis didn’t even think he could be that confident if he _was_ drunk. And while he had woken up from dreams every night this week with that stranger’s face, falling asleep to photos he’d taken screenshots of and saved, to avoid the problem of constantly refreshing Chocoboi69’s profile, it just seemed like it could only be a dream to actually receive a message from him.

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _Lol I think im sure :)_

 

Noctis was startled to get a reply so quickly. Looking at the user icon, though, there was an “online now” indicator beside it.

 

**KingsNite:** _What makes u so sure?_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _Cmon lol. How many hardcore emo dudes are there on campus? Just u im p sure_

 

**KingsNite:** _Tru…tru…uh sorry for walkin in on u tho. Kinda weird sorry_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _Not weird :P it happens lol_

 

**KingsNite:** _A lot?_

 

Noctis couldn’t help but ask.

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _lol maybe._

 

 **KingsNite:** _Nice_

 

Noctis couldn’t think of a better reply than that.

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _But yeaaaaaaaaaaaaa lol. U shouldve joined anway_

 

 **KingsNite:** _ummmm_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _Reaaaaaally_

 

 **KingsNite:** _y tho your profile says youre straight_

 

Noctis let out a sigh. There was no point in dancing around the most obvious issue.

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _Cant believe everything u read on the internet_

 

 **KingsNite:** _…?_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _I meaaaaaaaaaaaan it’s more like bi lol_

 

 **KingsNite:** _Oh_

 

Noctis bit his lip.

 

 **KingsNite:** _Cool_

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _Insomnia kinda sucks for that tho. There are like no gay dudes…or emo dudes…lol @ u being both :)_

 

 **KingsNite:** _Is that a good thing/_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _Could beeeee_

 

Noctis’s cheeks flamed. There was no way this is happening.

 

 **KingsNite:** _Are u like playing a joke on me/? Like a frat thing? I don’t wanna be a joke dude so if this is messing with me plz stop_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _Yikes am i that bad_

 

 **KingsNite:** _Not bad i just idk dudes aren’t into me and u say ur straight_

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _Thats the frat thing with me dude. Im in one so i can’t…come out online yknow. Sigma Nu is rly shitty bout that_

 

**KingsNite:** _Oh sigma nu? isn’t that where the party was? that’s your frat house?_

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _Yeah the guys were starting to like get weird with me so i was kinda hopin someone would walk in on me munchin_

 

**KingsNite:** _Oh_

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _Yeaaaa i mean someone did come in after you so it was ok. i got covered and they think im extra straight now haha_

 

 **KingsNite:** _Whyd u ask if i wanted to join if you were coverin tho_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _Welllllll_

 

 **KingsNite:** _Gotcha :P_

 

Talking to him was easier than Noctis expected. He had gotten so caught up in the conversation, he forgot to feel nervous.

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _Maybe ya. Holdin back my homosexual urges is harder when im wasted_

 

 **KingsNite:** _U shouldn’t hook up with ppl when youre wasted_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _Oh with cindy? nahhh we’ve known each other a really long time. We kinda do that stuff now n then, it’s cool. she just likes having sex and i like eating pussy sometimes so :)_

 

**KingsNite:** _Wow…whats that like?_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _Being with a girl? Lol i can hook u up with cindy too if youre curious_

 

 **KingsNite:** _No lol um_

 

Noctis paused.

 

**KingsNite:** _Hooking up lol_

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _Ohhhhhhhhh_

 

**KingsNite:** _yeah_

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _It’s really nice :)_

 

 **KingsNite:** _Lucky_

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _You could be too. Shouldve said yes_

 

**KingsNite:** _But im not into girls_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _Would you have been into it if it was just us 2?_

 

Noctis’s fingers froze. He couldn’t respond.

 

 **KingsNite:** _Um_

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _Is that too forward?_

 

**KingsNite:** _Idk_

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _Shit_

 

**KingsNite:** _?_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _I shouldn’t have come on so strong im sorry_

 

Noctis didn’t respond. Chocoboi69 kept typing.

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _ugh ive been trying to be more idk daring? ugh i was a fucking loser in hs so i was trying to branch out i guess. but fuuuuck now i look weird god this slutty boy thing didnt work out at all :’’’) feel free to block me lmao im an idiot_

 

**KingsNite:** _Dont’ say things lik e that_

 

Chocoboi69? A loser? There was no way.

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _nah this isnt even your problem man i’ve got my own issues. like wow who am i tryin to hook up with someone when i dont even know their name_

 

**KingsNite:** _Um_

 

 **KingsNite:** _It’s Noctis_

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _:(_

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _well nice to meet you noctis im prompto and i am a fucking joke_

 

 **KingsNite:** _I dont think so_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _You should lol. wanna know a secret?? im only with cindy bc we’ve been besties since high school. and she was my ONLY bestie. and yeah its turned friends with benefits but why not??? i mean it’s nbd to sleep with your friends sometime but like. god. i wouldnt be messaging u if i was content with her lol. i mean benefits arent ….love…._

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _GOD thats so corny!!! im so sorry im like blubbering to you i hate this_

 

**KingsNite:** _Dont_

 

**KingsNite:** _Im also kind of a huge loser_

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _No way youre like the cool emo hot topic guy at the mall. Like everyone wants to be u. Youre like who i wanted to be when i was 16._

 

**KingsNite:** _Haha when i was 16 i still had braces so i wasnt really a cool emo guy at all back then_

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _No wayyyyy well i was fat lol so w/e_

 

**KingsNite:** _Fat? No way youre so skinny in ur pics_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _Cause i wanted to be hot for college :P i wanted to stop being me lol_

 

**KingsNite:** _Wow_

 

**KingsNite:** _Me too_

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** i _m sorry u had to meet awkward me instead of cool hot sexy me. i kinda feel really shitty that i couldnt keep up that act when faced with someone real :’) again u can block me if u want i kinda wanna die so_

 

**KingsNite:** _But why_

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _I wanted to be cool for you? Idk i thought maybe you’d be into me like naturally if i came on like that_

 

**KingsNite:** _Uh youre hot so um. You didnt need to do anything._

 

Noctis felt electricity running through his fingers. Was he that upfront now? Was he able to actually communicate things like this?

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _Lmaooooo nah thats u_

 

**KingsNite:** _No way thats u_

 

 **Chocoboi 69:** _Well maybe we should meet up and settle it in person_

 

In person? Seriously? Chocoboi…Prompto wanted to meet him in person?

 

 **KingsNite:** _Really?_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _Yeah. I mean i already spilled all this shit online to you for no reason except me being stupid so i mean it makes sense kinda? if u don’t want to tho i totally get it like wow why cant i stop being so forward??? idk i wish i could say i was drunk right now or something TOO BAD IM NOT lol_

 

 **KingsNite:** _Lol me too_

 

 **KingsNite:** _never thought id talk to you. I mean_

 

 **KingsNite:** _Um_

 

 **KingsNite:** _I looked at your profile a few times but i was kinda just dreaming. Cause yknow. Straight._

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _You have no idea how many times i looked at yours._

 

**KingsNite:** _…srsly? how come i didnt see_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _Yeah_

 

**Chocoboi69:** _tweaked my account settings :’) i browse on invisible lol_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _Then you like changed all your info and didnt log in at all after that even when um. When i was looking at your profile a lot. So idk i figured you ditched the account or met someone or idk._

 

**KingsNite:** _Lol um. I kinda just got embarrassed. After um. The party. My roomie had to force me into checking my inbox again_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _Im glad he did :’)_

 

**KingsNite:** _Yeah um he updated all my info. it was kind of super lame before_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _I like both that i saw._

 

 **KingsNite:** _Lol really?_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _Yeah :) i wanna meet that guy_

 

 **KingsNite:** _Then um. Lets do it i guess?_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _Do it!!! Wow!!! Whos forward now!!!_

 

 **KingsNite:** _No!!!!! Not like that! I mean_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _nah its ok lol :) so ummmm_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _how about we meet at a dining hall or s/t?_

 

 **KingsNite:** _um. ok. like…tomorrow?_

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _i couldnt wait another day honestly_

 

 **KingsNite:** _Then um. I guess we should._

 

**Chocoboi 69:** _We should. BUUUUT i gotta go to sleep and die internally a little now so!!! I’ll see u tomorrow!_

 

**KingsNite:** _Yeah!_

 

 

 

 

Noctis stared at his phone in disbelief. Not only had he had a conversation with the guy he’d been harboring a crush on, but also the guy he walked in on, the guy who he’d low-key stalked, the guy who he thought was straight, the guy…the guy of his dreams, really.

 

And amazingly, for once in his life, Noctis didn’t even have to be asleep to enjoy this dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t y’all have friends you just casually sleep with? I’m playing that game right now so Prompto x Cindy’s side hookup thing is borrowing directly from my own experience, again. Maybe it seems off when you’re reading it but I promise…things like that happen in real life…specifically my own life. I’m living it. Unless I’m imagining it, it’s definitely happening. It’s like Prompto says though, friends with benefits don’t substitute the love of a partner. Lucky for me, I have a partner AND a FWB. How’d I get so lucky? Maybe the price I need to pay is to write one of those “healthy polyamory” fics, or something.
> 
> I mean, this whole fic is largely inspired by how my fiancé and I got together tho, we had met at a con through mutual friends and started talking to an extent on FB, but then he messaged me on my dummy OKC account that I made to look at weirdo dating profiles (remember the “make you squart” guy? Yeah him and juggalos). And yknow, he pretended to BE a cringey weirdo and that was how he asked for my number…fucking smooth…. So yeah this fic is a fond compilation of my own relationship(s) and my college days (closer to how I wish they had gone than how they actually went). Is this too personal??? Idk, gotta get inspiration somewhere.
> 
> Also me and m’boy are cosplaying Prompto and Noctis for our next cons, and meeting up with our “Cindy” friend, too…if only she were actually cosplaying Cindy…what do I have to do to convince her…
> 
> Remember when DeviantArt had journals or whatever to write in? Ao3 needs that shit to stop people like me from doing whatever the fuck I do. I mean I’ve got bipolar and I’m having a super manic episode rn so forgive my oversharing/rambling boy o h boy, hopefully it’ll turn out a productive episode at least. Fucking RIP me tho aughHHHH


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m fondly writing this dining hall scene in memory of my own college dining hall…it’s the #1 thing I miss since I’ve graduated. “Insomnia University” in general is shamelessly modeled after my alma mater but shhh, I went to a big state school so it’s the exact setting this fic requires.

Their meeting at the dining hall had been scheduled for 12’o clock on the dot, and both arrived not on the dot, but fifteen minutes early than their agreed meeting time. Embarrassed, they both tried to laugh, but both could only let out a small burst. Noctis followed Prompto into the dining hall as they swiped their student ID cards one after the other, then froze after the cashier check in point. It was as though they had forgotten that a “dining hall” typically involved “eating.” It took several dirty looks from other students, followed by an aggressive “move!” from a short girl carrying a huge backpack, who clearly had no time for foolishness. They split apart after that, running in opposite directions. Every island of food Noctis walked by turned his stomach, so he settled for a drink instead. Of course, that put him in the awkward position of waiting for Prompto at a table as his new—friend? Boyfriend? No, too soon, too soon, Noctis thought as Prompto filled up several plates of food.

Craning his neck from his table, Noctis watched Prompto load up two plates of food, a bowl full of pasta, a bowl of ice cream, and a slice of pie through the various dining hall lines and avenues. It was a miracle Prompto was able to balance all of that, Noctis thought as he looked on in wonder. Looking beyond the lo mein and chicken tenders Prompto was juggling, Noctis took this opportunity to size up the rest of him. His blonde hair was even tuftier in real life than it had appeared online, and…definitely fluffier than it had been when Prompto had been popping up from between that girl’s legs. Prompto was wearing skinny jeans and a big, baggy black sweatshirt, unzipped to reveal a generic “Insomnia U” t-shirt. Noctis felt vaguely overdressed, wearing his “cool jacket” as he called it and one of his nicer band shirts. 

“S-sorry,” Prompto said upon sitting down. “I kinda, overeat when I’m stressed.”

“Ha, yeah. Um. Me too? I mean, shit. Not really, I guess.” Noctis said, realizing his mistake.

There was silence after that, neither of them touching the food or drink in front of them. It took what felt like an eternity for one of them to break the ice.

“So…what can I say?” Noctis smiled in an awkward grimace, clutching a plastic cup filled with Coke in his hands. The condensation rolled down the side, mixing in with the sweat pouring off of his palms.

“Heh…good question.” Prompto said across from him, giving him a weak smile. “Wow, why is it so weird to meet up with someone after you spill your guts to them online? And when yknow, you both know youre into each other already. Kinda weird huh?” 

“Yeah, no kidding.” Noctis smiled, equally weak. Especially when seeing Prompto’s big, blue eyes up close. “Um…so…maybe we should talk about each other? I…well, I like Coke, as one of my uh…interests,” Noctis attempted to begin, giving an explanatory glance at the drink he was gripping onto for dear life.

Prompto laughed, finally stabbing his fork into the bowl of pasta that had been getting cold. “Yeah! Me, too! Well uh, not really, I kinda hate soda…but yknow, juice is great! Right?”

“Did you make the…um…Jungle Juice? From the party?” Noctis asked hesitantly. He was pretty sure that’s what the toxic punch at the party had been called.

“Nah, they wouldn’t let me,” Prompto said through a mouthful of rotini. There was sauce smeared at the corners of his mouth, and Noctis blushed as he realized it probably looked like he was staring at Prompto’s lips, not the stain. As he thought of that, suddenly Noctis was hyperaware of Prompto’s lips. They were pink, probably pinker than usual, and looked so, so…

“Do I have something on my face?” Prompto asked, snapping Noctis out of his stare.

“Uh…yeah, actually, there’s…pasta, kind of all over.”

“Yikes, um,” Prompto said, hastily grabbing at a napkin and rubbing his face. “Guess I look like a little piggy, huh?”

“Kinda,” Noctis said. He saw Prompto’s face drop and realized he said the wrong thing.

“I mean!” he quickly doubled over his words, “it’s not in a bad way! It’s like…cute? I mean, um,”

Telling someone they were cute online was one thing, but saying it to their face was completely different. Noctis noticed Prompto was blushing too, but also that Prompto suddenly looked far more nervous than he had before. Had Noctis said the wrong thing?

“I…” Prompto began, leaning forward. “I think you’re cute too, but um. Let’s be a little more quiet, okay? I can’t really afford to be seen uh…with a dude, yknow? Like, in that way.”

“Oh…uh…why?”

“Well, yknow I said my frat kinda hates gay dudes? But it’s a lot more than hate, I mean…it’s extreme, yknow? Like, when we got hazed, not only did we have to go through a week of bullshit but also constantly got hit with this “no fags allowed” rule. I mean, they must be super insecure, right? If they’re that scared of gays, that means they’re gay too, right? Isn’t that how the story goes?” Prompto said, gritting his teeth in a forced smile.

“Yeah.” Noctis said, looking down at his drink. “Do you…have any friends in there?”

“Kinda? I dunno, my roommate is a jerk so I can’t really hang out in my room that much. There’s a couple people who are okay to me, but I don’t fit in that much. I mean, I’m trying! I always call Cindy—uh, that’s my friend you saw me…with…—as yknow, my excuse. I say I’ve got a girlfriend so it makes things a little easier for me. I make sure to kiss her in front of them all the time, because like…from day ONE they thought something was off about me. It was one of the first things they asked! If I was, like, into dudes, yknow?”

“Couldn’t you have just joined some other frat? I mean, why stay in if you hate it?”

Prompto smiled bitterly. “Family legacy. It’s my asshole dad’s old frat, so he expects me to be in it, too. Dad kinda…takes after the frat in terms of how he feels about us…gays. He doesn’t know about me being into dudes, I’ll tell you that much. Doesn’t mean he likes me any more because of it. Or wait, are you gay? I’m bi, but—“

“Yeah, um” Noctis looked over his shoulder, too. “I’m gay.”

Prompto whistled. “Does your dad hate you?”

“No, Dad loves me, he doesn’t really…know, but…” Noctis contemplated his relationship with his father. He knew his dad had tried to get Noctis to open up more in the past few years, starting to lead conversations by asking if Noctis was okay, if there was anything he “needed to tell him.” But Noctis always just brushed it off. He didn’t want to cause his dad any more stress than he already did. Having to deal with a loser for a kid had kind of been a challenge, especially when other parents (aka business relations) at the school wondered why the littlest Caelum didn’t have the grace and charm of his senior. “Dad’s kind of busy, yknow? And my mom…passed when I was really young, so…”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Prompto said, looking at Noctis with genuine concern.

“Yeah, um…I don’t really remember her, I kinda…don’t talk about it that much. It’s…a thing, I dunno. People always treat me weird because of it.” Noctis averted his eyes. This was one of the top ten reasons people had avoided him in school. Elementary schoolers didn’t know how to handle death, and as they progressed into middle and high school, silence remained the easiest thing to do.

“I don’t think it’s weird, I’m…actually in the same boat. Just me and dear ol’ dad,” Prompto said before taking a bitter sip of his drink. “Mom died in a car wreck when I was twelve, and I miss her like shit. Dad got worse after she died, so it’s…yknow. Rough.”

“Kind of a shitty thing to have in common,” Noctis said. As hypocritical of him as he knew it was, now he was the one too afraid to meet Prompto’s eyes.

“Yeah, but you know as well as I do. Can’t do anything about it.”

“Yeah.”

Another painful silence came over them.

“So um. Do you have friends in your frat?” Prompto attempted after he had shoved a breadstick and half a piece of pie. The silence must really stress him out, Noctis realized.

“Yeah, uh. My two best friends actually, we all enrolled together. My dad also…kinda wanted me to carry on a family tradition. And my friends um, Gladio and Ignis, I’ve known them since we were in kindergarten so we’re close. Their parents are uh…family friends of my dad’s.” Noctis bit his lip. He really didn’t want to reveal his “spoiled rich boy, heir to Carbuncle Software throne” persona just yet. It was a little much. It was always too much for people. 

Prompto smiled warmly. “Aw, that’s amazing. You’re so lucky.”

Noctis smiled back.

“I don’t have any friends like that,” Prompto said as he continued to stab at his pie. “I mean, Cindy, kind of, but I didn’t meet her until my sophomore year of high school. We kinda moved around a lot, yknow? Dad’s job took him…around. Plus I was too busy studying and yknow, working once I got old enough. It’s kinda rough when everyone else can hang out but you have to contribute to bills as soon as you turn sixteen.”

Noctis cringed. “Yeah, uh. I bet.” Prompto was poor. Great. Another barrier driven between the two of them.

“But it’s okay. I’m here now, aren’t I? Surely all of that was worth it if it meant I got to come to college and meet you.”

“M-me? What?”

“Well, yeah! I mean, you could’ve just blown me off online, especially after how…embarrassing I got. But nope, instead here you are. And still listening to me talk about all this bullshit? Like, that’s a lot dude. Even Cindy can only take so much, and she can take a lot.” Prompto said, waving his fork at Noctis.

“Why wouldn’t I want to talk to you though? I’m surprised you’re talking to me, honestly.”

“Then I guess we’ve got something else in common.” Both of them smiled at each other. Noctis’s expression was nervous, hesitant, but the more he looked at Prompto, the more he realized the boy across from him was equally strained, equally hesitant and nervous. 

Suddenly, a hand slammed on the table between them. 

“Prompto! Who’s your friend!”

Both of them whipped their heads up at the interruption. It was a bulky, sneering guy with short, greasy brown hair and a fraternity pullover. Sigma Nu. Same as Prompto.

“This is uh, Noctis. He’s from Alpha Chi Rho, we met at freshman orientation.”

“Hi,” Noctis said, offering a weak wave.

“Where ya from, Noctis?”

“Uh, right here in town.”

“Did you go to East? West? North?”

“Um. I went to the Fleuret Academy. Private school.”

The stranger sniffed. “Private school, huh?”

“Ah, yep. Dad insisted. It was um…religious reasons.” It was the best excuse Noctis could think of as he received another judgmental look from the stranger. He could feel himself being scanned him up and down, being searched for some answer or another.

“I’ll see you later, Prompto,” the boy said before taking his leave, looking over his shoulder to watch the two of them as he walked.

After he had cleared the exit, Prompto exhaled a long, nervous breath, his eyes bulging. “Holy shit.”

“Dude, that guy was—“

“Scary. I know. Can I please like, leave? Just yknow, exit my entire life?” Prompto laughed weakly. “This is like, totally not my thing.”

“I didn’t realize meeting in public was so…difficult for you.” Noctis said, perched on the edge of his seat as he, too, turned around anxiously to look.

“Me either. Haven’t really been involved in this kinda situation before.”

“Do I look that…gay? That they suspect?”

“You look…yeah, you kinda look a little gay.” Prompto said with a forgiving smile. “I’m into it, though, if that helps.”

“Really? You’re…into me, really?” Noctis couldn’t help but blurt.

“Yeah. I…want to be able to talk to you somewhere else. Not in the dining hall, yknow? Somewhere private.”

“Do you wanna go like…downtown?”

“You askin’ me on a date?” Prompto said teasingly.

“Is that…um. Is that what it would be?”

“Do you not want it to be that?”

“N-no! I…I absolutely want that. I…I want to see you again. Soon.” Noctis said, his cheeks flaming.

“I think I know a place, then. I’ll text you. But right now, gotta go!” Prompto said, hastily picking up his dirty dishes. “Kinda later than I realized, I got…lost, yknow? Lost in conversation, but now…yeah, adios!”

“Yeah. Lost.” Noct said quietly to himself as he watched Prompto scamper away. “Me, too.”

 

——

Noctis walked around in a daze through his classes, feeling like he was floating between chairs. He certainly didn’t feel physically present for any of his lectures, much less any in-class discussions, and he only barely managed to pick up on what the homework would be. Had he really just met Choco—Prompto, in person? Without making an absolute fool out of himself? It was too good to be true. There was no way he was living this life, no way he was awake and not dreaming, there was no way. Of course, Noctis had hoped for something like this to happen. There was no doubt about it, this was his dream come true. He had prayed, he had wished, he had begged with whatever god was ruling his life every night to please, please bring him someone. But of all the people he could’ve been brought, Noctis never expected to receive Prompto.

His pace was brisk as he trotted back to his fraternity, quickly changing out of his sweaty clothes and searching his closet for new ones tonight to wear on his date. Date! The words felt so foreign in his head, but Noctis couldn’t be any happier having them there. A date with Prompto? His boyfriend, Prompto? Noctis could hope. Noctis’s eyes scanned the rows of clothes in his closet, internally thanking Ignis for meticulously organizing his wardrobe for him. Ignis could never let things like that go, and Noctis had never been more grateful. His eyes were glued to his phone as he scrolled through Instagram tags (#date, #mensfashion, #maleootd), and after he finished browsing he pored over his own clothes for an eternity, trying to decide just what would be best to wear to meet Prompto. What would Prompto be wearing? Would he need to try and coordinate this? Was there a certain thing to wear, to not wear? Noctis had never been on a date before, but if he stared long enough, surely the answers would come. 

“Well, well, what do we have here?” Gladio said, loudly opening the door and strolling through, Ignis just a few steps behind him. Noctis jumped up with an embarrassed yelp, trying to cover himself up. 

“Lovely boxers, Noct, although I would recommend changing those as well should you be going out tonight.” Ignis said smugly, Gladio snorting.

“Guys, come on! Can’t you be happy for me?”

“Well, we haven’t even been informed what we ought to be happy about. You’ve just been smiling, looking at your phone, and, well, continuing to smile.”

“Yeah, Noct. Gotta use your words every now and then, yknow?”

Noctis shot Gladio a look. “You’re one to talk.”

“Well Noct, if you’re out on a date, I recommend the…black jeans, the gray cardigan, and the black button down. And then of course, the same sneakers as always.” Ignis said, shaking a knowledgable finger to punctuate the end of his sentence.

Noctis reached to pick the clothes out himself, but somehow Ignis had already appeared before him, clothes in hand. “I’ll let you pick out that new underwear yourself, though.”

Huffing, Noctis took the pile of clothes (including underwear) to his bed, shimmying beneath the covers to swap out his boxers before resurfacing to put the rest of the ensemble again. Sure, he’d known Ignis and Gladio since they were all barely out of diapers and just starting to wear underwear in the first place, but excess nudity was never asked for. In particular, Noctis couldn’t handle seeing how hairy Gladio’s ass became once his friend turned sixteen. 

Once he was dressed, Noctis happily perched on the edge of his chair, clapping his hands to his knees and looking around eagerly. He remained like that for ten minutes, Gladio and Ignis trying to go about their own evening routines as best they could.

“Noct. NOCT.” Gladio finally said, slamming a hand on his desk as he slowly turned in his chair. “What are you doing? You just keep clappin. What is it?”

“Just, uh. Excited, y’know?”

“Excited for what, Noct? You haven’t even informed us of where you’re going,” Ignis said as he turned around as well.

“Uh, well…I’m…going on a date, with Prompto!” Noctis said, unable to hold the smile back from spreading across his face.

“Lovely. Where at?”

“Uh.”

Noctis’s face fell and his hands stopped slapping at his knees. Noctis wasn’t actually sure where. Or what time. In fact, he didn’t know anything about the date aside from the fact that it was with Prompto, tonight. Quickly, he pulled out his phone to check it. 

No messages.

No missed calls.

The blood drained out of Noctis’s face. It was already 7’o clock.

Guess it really was too good to be true.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is SUPER off schedule, I'm really sorry! It's longer than usual so hopefully that makes up for it! I'll try and get the new chapter posted on Friday as usual @___@

 

“Noct, really. Just try and calm down.”

 

“How can I calm down?! How do you expect me to calm down when I just, just, threw the only chance I have, that I’ve ever gotten, directly into the dumpster?! Holy shit, I, holy shit, just…”

 

Noctis didn’t know how he could’ve been so foolish. To not ask for a phone number. To let Prompto walk away. To make plans, to have not given Prompto his own phone number, why, why, why was he so foolish! The heir to a cellphone software company, and he couldn’t even manage to exchange phone numbers. He was stupid. Hopelessly, pathetically, absolutely stupid without any hope—

 

“Noct!”

 

“What?” Noctis cried, stomping his foot down on the carpet. He’d worn a track into it from pacing back and forth.

 

“I said, did you check your dating profile inbox?”

 

“Yeah, Noct.” Gladio said, blowing a stray hair out of his face. “You didn’t think to do that before?”

 

Ignis rolled his eyes as Noctis scrambled for his phone, clumsily thumbing through the screens as he opened up the OkCupid app. There was a new message in his inbox. Of course.

 

**Chocoboi69:** _ sooooooooo pizzas good right? everyone likes it :) so um how bout the piezanos downtown at 7? _

 

Noctis swore in his head, looking at the time on his phone. 7:46! It was already almost an hour past their meeting time!

 

**Chocoboi69:** _ so ummm is that good? _

 

**Chocoboi69:** _ ….maybe not? _

 

**Chocoboi69:** _ if youre in class just text me when youre done lol i mean on here  _

 

**Chocoboi69:** _ or anytime :’) _

 

**Chocoboi69:** _ … _

 

**Chcoboi69:** _ u m it’s getting kind of late please message me back _

 

**Chocoboi69:** _ um…plz? :’’’’’) _

 

Noctis crammed his phone into his pocket, slamming the door of his room open without so much as a goodbye to Ignis and Gladio. He nearly collided with several other residents of his frat house, much to their irritation. Their yells and jeers were just a memory to Noctis as he started sprinting down the sidewalk, his lungs already screaming at him to slow down. He knew he would be sweaty once he reached downtown, but he didn’t care. He panted and heaved as he waited for crosswalk signs to change, he forced himself forward with every painful leap he took. Why was running so hard?!

 

Eventually, Noctis had to slow down. He had just managed to hit the beginning of downtown, and he was caught between a frozen yogurt shop and a Wendy’s when he realized he had no idea where he was actually going.

 

“Thank god for MoogleMaps,” he muttered as he tapped in the name of the restaurant, walking so briskly it took a car horn loudly screeching at him to snap him from his daze.

 

“Oh, s-sorry!” he said with a weak wave as he trotted over to another stretch of sidewalk. He was close, he thought, he was getting there, getting there…just a few more steps, and he would make it….

 

“Noctis?”

 

Noctis looked up from his phone, confused. That voice didn’t belong to Ignis or Gladio, so who else would it—

 

“I kinda gave up on you, so I was headed home.” 

 

It was Prompto, standing before him and giving him a weak shrug. Prompto was wearing a wide smile on his face, but his brow was furrowed and his eyes were worried. He looked broken, somehow. 

 

“Prompto! Holy shit, I’m so sorry,” Noctis gestured, dropping his phone on the street in the process. “Shit!”

 

“Oh, shit!” Prompto said as he crouched to the side walk to help Noctis pick up what were now the pieces of his cellphone.

 

“Shiiiiiit!” Noctis moaned, burying his face in his hands. “Shit!”

 

“Hey, it’s okay! This is, kind of my fault, um,”

 

“No! No, it’s all mine! I….basically stood you up, and now here I am, just…dropping shit, and…god! I’ve never been on a date! I’m so stupid, please, please like….forgive me or something, I…”

 

“Hey. It’s okay.” Prompto said calmly, placing a handful of broken plastic into Noctis’s hand. He closed Noctis’s fist around it, letting his hands linger for a moment. Suddenly, Noctis was acutely aware of how closely they were squatting to each other on the ground, how Prompto could probably feel Noctis’s heavy breathing and smell his sweat. He scooted back on his heels in a panic, tumbling with no grace whatsoever flat onto his ass. Prompto burst out laughing, trying to cover his mouth with the back of his hand.

 

“Please just…feel free to never talk to me again if you want….ughhhh,” Noctis said, pulling himself back up and trying to gather more pieces of his phone. He was going to have to ask his dad for another one. He hated carrying the notoriety of the family business, but in times like this it definitely came in handy.

 

“I mean…honestly I thought that’s what you were doing to me. Like, did I scare you off that bad at lunch?” Prompto laughed, getting to his feet and offering Noctis a helping hand. Noctis was all too reluctant to let go once he was vertical again.

 

“No way. I was just too stupid to check my app.”

 

“Now you don’t have to worry about that, right?”

 

Noctis took a minute, Prompto raising his eyebrow expectantly before they both burst into laughter. 

 

“I guess not!”

 

“So, you still interested in dinner?” Prompto asked, leaning forward and rocking back again on his heels.

 

“Yeah! I’m—“ Noctis’s sentence fell apart as he patted the back pocket of his jeans. He had forgotten his wallet in his rush out the door. “I’m…broke…” he concluded, sighing and dropping his head down as he scratched at the back of it. “I forgot my wallet.” 

 

“Guess that means I’m payin’ for our first date, right?”

 

“No!! No, I can’t do that to you!” Noctis quickly said. He would say he remembered his social standing and fortune, but really, how could he ever forget? “I’ll…go back for it?”

 

“And waste more time? No way, dude. C’mon, let’s just go.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Totally,” Prompto said, starting to walk forward. He looked back over his shoulder at Noctis. “Coming?”

 

“Yeah! I’m…on the way!” Noctis said as he followed in Prompto’s footsteps, the remains of his cellphone left abandoned on the pavement.

 

—— 

  
  


“Ah, check please?” Prompto asked hesitantly. The waiter heaved in an apparent sign of relief, turning around and going to fetch a ticket for the two patrons who were there not fifteen minutes, but half an hour past closing. They weren’t the only ones lingering, but to the staff even one minute past closing was too late to tolerate.

 

Noctis loudly sucked on the straw of his Pepsi, rattling the ice at the bottom of the glass. “You’ve got sauce all over your face again,” he said, grinning.

 

“Again!” Prompto cried out in dismay, scrabbling for a napkin to wipe his face off. “Why! Why me!”

 

“Guess that’s just who you are!”

 

“Oh, just like you’re…uh, like you’re…”

 

“The best ever?”

 

“The number one cellphone breaker on campus!”

 

“Oh come on! There’s gotta be someone worse than me!”

 

“Uh uh, don’t think so!”

 

“Here you go, boys,” the waiter said irritatedly as he slapped the bill down between them. Prompto broke his banter with Noctis to dig his wallet out of his pocket, fishing for bills and slapping a substantial amount onto the table. “Uh, keep the change, yeah? C’mon, let’s head out!”

 

Prompto and Noctis rose from the table, leaving a demolished pizza, several empty cups of soda, and a huge pile of used napkins on the table behind them. The night had been so much easier than he thought it ever could be. Maybe it was the fact that Prompto had proven himself, again, to be incredibly easy to talk to, maybe it was that pizza was the eternal icebreaker. Here Noctis stood, at 1’o clock in the morning, having shared lunch and dinner with someone he thought he would never even be able to speak to. 

 

“What?” Prompto said, looking at Noctis in confusion as they walked down the street, side by side now. “Did you just ask “why am I so lucky?” or “why are Chocobos so clucky?”

 

“Um. First one,” Noctis said, jamming his hands into his pockets and thanking the night sky for covering the flush on his cheeks.

 

“I’ve been wondering that, too. I mean…to order a supreme pizza and have barely any mushrooms on it? Now that’s what I call lucky!”

 

“What?! You don’t like mushrooms either?! Then shit, why’d we—“

 

“Not everything goes according to plan, right?”

 

“No, it…definitely doesn’t.” Noctis said, thinking again to his forgotten wallet, his demolished cellphone. While Prompto had covered dinner with no hesitation, even waving away Noctis’s promises to make it up to him, the greater problem was that Noctis had no keycard to enter his building. Nor did he have a way of calling his two brothers to bail him out.

 

“So…why can’t you just go knock on the door again?” Prompto asked. Noctis snorted.

 

“You think your frat bros would be happy if you came knocking on the door this late?”

 

“Hey, implying they’re not awake at this hour? It’s Friday, Noct. Party…central…” Prompto drawled as they crossed onto the main drag of their campus. 

 

“All the more reason I don’t wanna go back,” Noctis sighed.

 

“C’mon, let’s just go knock on the door. It’ll be fine,” Prompto said.

 

Sighing, Noctis followed Prompto along the dark sidewalks until they came across his frat house again, lit up and booming in the moonlight. “After you,” Prompto said, gesturing for Noctis to lead the way. 

 

Noctis hesitantly brought up his knuckles to rap on the door. He pulled back after the initial lack of response, but Prompto urged him to keep trying. Finally, the door was yanked open, revealing one of Noctis’s particularly larger, particularly meaner upperclass brothers. 

 

“Oh, no fucking way. No frosh losers allowed,” he slurred, slamming the door in their faces before Noctis could blurt out a response. Frustrated, Noctis tried to knock again, but the next time the door opened he was met not with a face, but with a faceful of cold beer.

 

“Shit!” Noctis wailed, trying to shake the cold liquid off of him. Humiliated, he looked to Prompto. “I’m—“

 

“About as well liked as I am in Sigma Nu, it looks like,” Prompto said with a smile. “C’mon, let’s try and kill some time.”

 

Noctis sighed, looking up to the third floor. The light was off in the room he, Gladio, and Ignis shared, and it was far too high up for him to climb to. “I guess so.”

 

—— 

  
  


Prompto and Noctis strolled alongside each other, wandering the darkened, deserted paths that were usually clogged with other students. It was strange being on campus so late. Like being at school on a Saturday, Noctis thought to himself. Incidentally, it already was Saturday. Between twelve noon and twelve midnight, he and Prompto had known each other in real life for nearly twelve hours now. Maybe it was a silly thing to think about, but for Noctis, it was an amazing thing to have.

 

Prompto yawned. “God, wish we could get in somewhere. I’m tired,” he said, smiling lazily at Noctis.

 

“I mean, you can,” Noctis scoffed. “I’m the only idiot who got locked out.”

 

“And leave you out in the cold? That’s no fair.”

 

“Wanna, uh…sit down then?” Noctis asked, as both of them came to a stop.

 

They had wandered over to a secluded part of the campus, densely planted with trees that were separated by benches. The two boys fell down on one, leaning into each other before Noctis nervously separated himself, sitting upright and staring at his shoes. Prompto exhaled nervously beside him, cracking his knuckles and looking around.

 

“Oh wow, look at that,” Prompto said, gently tapping Noctis.

 

Before them stood a tree, but not an ordinary tree. This one was barren of leaves and gleamed like a beacon in the dark rather than casting a shadow as the surrounding trees did. The moon was full and cast down onto the tree, making it shine a bright silver. 

 

“The tree’s…metal?”

 

“Yeah! I read about it in the campus guide about like…art installations, but I haven’t actually seen it yet!”

 

Prompto quickly dug in his pockets to pull out his phone, opening the camera app and snapping a quick photo. The flash exploded in the darkness, and Prompto frowned when he looked at the photo he’d just taken. “Yikes. This is…”

 

“Oh wow. That…doesn’t look good,” Noctis laughed.

 

“Hey, with the right editing software, I, future photojournalist extraordinaire Prompto Argentum, can make anything look great!”

 

“Yeah? Try me,” Noctis said, sticking his tongue out. He quickly cried out in pain, regretting his jab instantly as the flash went off directly in his eyes. Prompto exploded in laughter.

 

“Holy shit, you look like, like a cat that just got dunked in water!” he cackled as he pointed at the pained expression Noctis was making in the photo.

 

“Noooo! Delete that!” Noctis wailed, trying to reach for Prompto’s phone.

 

“Watch it, Noct, don’t want your bad luck to hit me too! I gotta keep this phone!”

 

“Delete it then!”

 

“No way, but how ‘bout…this!” Prompto yelled before the flash blinded them both, Noctis cringing again as he felt Prompto knock into him.

 

“What—“

 

“See? Now we both look bad,” Prompto said triumphantly, showing Noctis the new photo of the two of them side by side.

 

“Two drowned cats,” Noctis grumbled. 

 

“A memory we’ll never forget,” Prompto said with a gentler tone, looking fondly at Noctis in the moonlight.

 

“Y-yeah, I guess so.”

 

Noctis had been having so much fun, getting along with Prompto so easily, that he had barely had any time to feel nervous or worried. The conversation hadn’t stopped the whole time they were walking, nor had it found any weak points while they were in the restaurant. With Gladio and Ignis, Noctis often felt like he was tagging along in the conversation. But with Prompto, he felt exactly in step with his new…friend. Friend, Noctis repeated in his head. Even if they had technically met through OkCupid, even if Noctis had seen Prompto in that particularly compromising position before, Noctis forced himself to remember that first and foremost, he had made a new friend. It didn’t necessarily mean anything else would happen.

 

Prompto’s hand placing itself on Noctis’s didn’t mean that Prompto was suddenly his boyfriend, and just because Prompto’s face was slowly moving closer to his, just because Noctis could suddenly see every one of Prompto’s freckles, his fluttering eyelashes, just because a pair of soft, warm lips were suddenly touching his own, the smell of sweat and pizza clouding his senses as his eyes closed and he could only smell, only touch Prompto as—

 

Noctis gasped as Prompto pulled back from him, his—perhaps not his friend—looking at him nervously, panting and biting the lips that had just been touching Noctis’s seconds ago.

 

“I, I hope that was okay,” he said.

 

“That…Prompto, I…”

 

“If um, you decided you’re not into me after hanging out with me more, I get it, but uh…I was hopeful. What can I say?” Prompto smiled.

 

“Say, um…” Noctis said, hesitantly leaning in closer, putting a hand on Prompto’s knee.

 

“Say what?” Prompto said, his breath hot in the space between him and Noctis.

 

“Say you’ll kiss me again,” Noctis whispered before squeezing his eyes shut and leaning in to kiss Prompto himself. 

 

The first sensation he felt was pain, wincing as their teeth knocked together. He pulled back in humiliation before Prompto’s hands, gentle on either side of his face, pulled him back in. They exchanged a few smacks before Noctis’s stomach turned and he felt Prompto’s tongue gently prod at his lower lip. He had seen enough porn, read enough smut to know where this was headed. He allowed Prompto in, trying to navigate his own tongue into Prompto’s mouth. Prompto gently hummed into Noctis’s mouth, rubbing his thumb against the side of Noctis’s cheek. Noctis couldn’t help but moan, grabbing onto the front of Prompto’s jacket and leaning in, trying to get closer, as close as he could to Prompto without crawling into his lap.

 

Prompto pulled back briefly, taking a long, dazed look at Noctis before he placed his hands in Noctis’s lower back, dragging Noctis onto his lap himself, the two sprawled awkwardly across the bench as they continued to explore each other’s mouths, neither able to stop themselves from grinding slightly against the other’s crotch.

 

(mehhh?)

 

Noctis knew he was moving too fast, probably. He knew this was unprecedented, that—

 

(mow?)

 

That nothing like this had ever happened to him, not even in his most amazing sex dreams, not even—

 

(mew?)

 

Not even—

 

(Meaw!)

 

Prompto and Noctis pulled apart from each other, Noctis straddling Prompto’s lap as they both turned to see what that noise was. Blinking at them from the grass behind the bench was a pair of large, glowing eyes. “Meaaaaow!” the eyes asserted as they leapt onto the bench, balancing on its edge before dropping down to the wider board that Prompto and Noctis were sitting on.

 

“A…cat?” Noctis said, confused.

 

“Holy shit!” Prompto hissed. “A campus cat!!!”

 

“Campus?” Noctis asked, reaching out a hand instinctively to pet the cat, who happily rubbed its head into his hand.

 

“Yeah, I had heard about them, but I haven’t seen one before! Especially not this close!” Prompto said joyfully, reaching out to scratch the cat’s stomach. 

 

Carefully, so as not to startle the cat, Noctis climbed off of Prompto and knelt on the ground by his feet, continuing to pet the cat under its chin. “Good girl,” he whispered. “Such a good girl.”

 

“You a cat guy?” 

 

“I grew up with dogs, so I’m not sure. They’re cute though. What about you?”

 

“Nah, dad hates animals. But god, just look at her,” Prompto said, melting in admiration as the cat rolled over onto its back, letting Prompto scratch at her tummy. Noctis crumpled up his nose.

 

“Wow, she’s kind of…nipply.” 

 

“I guess so…oh, shit! She must have kittens somewhere!” 

 

Noctis looked around, and surely enough he saw six more glowing eyes hidden in a bush a few yards away from where they sat. “Wish I had some food for them.”

 

“Aw, me too…” Prompto lamented. “We should buy some and bring it over here! I mean, cats kinda stay in one place, right?”

 

“Who knows, but it doesn’t hurt, right?”

 

“Wish I could drive, though.”

 

“You can’t drive?”

 

“Well…no car.”

 

“Ah,” Noctis said, suddenly aware of his financial position again. “Well…we can take mine?”

 

“Yeah! That would be—huh?”

 

Prompto pulled out his cellphone, the cat leaping down from the bench with an appreciative meow. Noctis awkwardly waved goodbye to her as Prompto looked at his phone in confusion. 

 

“It’s…a message from…you?” Prompto said, showing Noctis the glowing inbox of his own OkCupid. 

 

**KingsNite:** _ Are you all right???? Where is Noctis????? Have you two gotten into trouble???? _

 

“Oh, shit. That must be…”

 

A vision of Ignis, angrily tapping away at the keys of Noctis’s computer suddenly flashed before Noctis’s eyes. 

 

**KingsNite:** _ I haven’t heard from you in HOURS, it is four in the morning, this is completely unacceptable! _

 

**KingsNite:** _ Respond to me AT ONCE Noctis!! _

 

The messages continued to spam into the chat window, blowing up before Prompto had a chance to respond.

 

“Okay, okay!” Prompto said nervously.

 

**Chocoboi69:** Noct broke his phone and forgot his wallet so were locked out :( or he is lol

 

 **KingsNite:** _Of course. Come back to the house from wherever you two are and I will let NOCT in and send you off to have a lovely rest of your evening_

 

 **Chocoboi69:** _Dont worry!!! I didnt do anything bad to your daughter!!! I’ll bring her home right away so no need for the shotgun!!!! :P_

 

There was a pause in the string of messages.

 

 **KingsNite:** _Just hurry and come home._

 

Noctis grinned embarrassedly at Prompto, who grabbed his hand with a firm, confident squeeze as they slowly started walking back to Alpha Chi Rho.

 

—— 

 

Both of them would’ve been happy if the night had never ended. But, of course, it had to end. Ignis prayed for their farewell to end as soon as possible as he practically had to pull them apart from each other as they kissed goodbye on the doorstep, for far too long and with far too much tongue. Ignis may have been unhappy at what he had just been made to witness, but Noctis had never been happier in his life. 

 

He couldn’t believe this life was even his.


End file.
